You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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