I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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