Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
