i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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