we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
