Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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