So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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