Please, let me fuck your mom
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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