You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
