Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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