Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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