Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
