There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Everyone says I win the strip club
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
