Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
