I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
