so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am naked and annoyed.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Pooping to opera.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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