Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
