What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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