i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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