Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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