So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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