okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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