How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
