And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
