There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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