maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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