He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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