Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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