i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
