Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize