I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
