You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
