Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
