Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What a dumb baby whore.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
