why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
