Kareoke will never be a sober sport
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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