Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
