I want to stick my p in your. b.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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