Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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