Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
