Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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