I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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