you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize