you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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