So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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