summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My liver just had a heart attack.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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