The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize