Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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