you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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