guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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