if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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