i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
