Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize