Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
