i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
