Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
