Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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