i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
