Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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