there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
