There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
