Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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