so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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