how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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