I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
