capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
