Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
