420 ftw
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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