All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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