used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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