I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
